Whenever anyone says “no offense” they usually say something awful so I won’t say that

One thing I never expected to see in the wrestling biz is the current of Christianity running through it.  One of my foster families was really into Jesus and a couple of others were going through the motions, but half of them didn’t say word one about the big man with the beard.  It’s notContinue reading “Whenever anyone says “no offense” they usually say something awful so I won’t say that”

TL;DR (the blackout special)

I kept writing the start of this as “sorry I haven’t posted for a while” but I’m not sorry.  I don’t know why people always say sorry for everything.  A couple of concerned people did post in the comments asking where I was and if I was okay.  Several more unconcerned people made less pleasantContinue reading “TL;DR (the blackout special)”

Not going to lie, this one got away from me

WWE decided to bring back squash matches a while back.  They’re supposed to make the squasher look strong but I can’t imagine anyone buys into that these days.  One guy they brought in to squash was James Elsworth.  James Elsworth is an ugly little dude but that doesn’t make him a bad person.  At thatContinue reading “Not going to lie, this one got away from me”

Dude where’s my uterus? – coming to theaters this Christmas!

I had a dream last night that Hulk Hogan sued me because I had been talking about how he was a terrible wrestler and a worse person.  Maybe I really should start slandering him all the time because I can’t imagine anything that would be better for my career than being sued by Hulk Hogan. Continue reading “Dude where’s my uterus? – coming to theaters this Christmas!”

Put on your work boots

One of my readers commented that an old movie called Ghostbusters centers around the plot of a guy coming back from WW2 that decides that humanity needs to be wiped out.  To facilitate this end of human life, he builds a skyscraper that’s designed to channel magic.  The magic is supposed to open a portalContinue reading “Put on your work boots”

Celebrity fight club (because 100 dollar baby has already been used)

I watched part of Million Dollar Baby last night while I was trying to fall asleep and it occurred to me that I could probably beat up Hilary Swank.  I don’t mean now, that wouldn’t be very hard, she’s 46 and not training to be in a movie about fighting, I mean when that movieContinue reading “Celebrity fight club (because 100 dollar baby has already been used)”

Doubleteam starring Dennis Rodman and Jean Claude Van Damme

When I got to Rockport and went to the venue, the promoter told me that I was off the show because he had booked too many people.  I was one second from going apeshit when he told me I was still getting paid.  I was stunned.  Half the time when I actually work, I endContinue reading “Doubleteam starring Dennis Rodman and Jean Claude Van Damme”

If you’re going to do something silly you should take it seriously

While I was driving today I started thinking about my future.  I got into this business to make money, which is stupid because there’s very little money to be had, but I didn’t have a lot of other offers on the table.  Piling mistake on top of that mistake, I’m not really being very smartContinue reading “If you’re going to do something silly you should take it seriously”

Creative has nothing for you

This is going to shock you but wrestling is a strange world.  Wrestlers are not real fighters but they’re pretending to be real fighters.  That gets confusing for some people.  This is not helped by the fact that there are some legit bad mother fuckers in the world of wrestling.  If you’re around the bizContinue reading “Creative has nothing for you”

The cornucopia was created when Hercules wrestled the river god Achelous and broke off one of his horns

I drove to Springfield for what I thought was a wrestling show I was booked on, but turned out to be a rodeo.  Since I was there anyway, I told the old mumble-mouth cowboy running the thing that for the hundred bucks I was promised I’d give it a shot.  Getting thrown off a bullContinue reading “The cornucopia was created when Hercules wrestled the river god Achelous and broke off one of his horns”