It’s not fair that when I survive a murder attempt I end up with a bill

I need to learn a spell that persuades people or gives me an aura of authority.  I am terrible at talking my way out of things.  After the troopers some county sheriff people showed up.  And then some city cops too.  Why are there so many different kinds of cops?  I suppose because there’s soContinue reading “It’s not fair that when I survive a murder attempt I end up with a bill”

A grasshopper in the mouth is worth two in the bun

Gary asked me where we were going.  I told him nothing had changed.  Our mission was to find the veterinarian and determine if he’s a blood mage.  Or a vampire.  Or “just” a murderer.  When he asked what we were going to do after we did find out, I wanted to tell him to shutContinue reading “A grasshopper in the mouth is worth two in the bun”

What’s the deal with sunglasses? Have you seen this?

I found a website where a stand-up comic talks about their travels.  I’ve heard that the life of a stand-up is a lot like the life of a wrestler.  You travel all the time.  You work shit venues.  You may or may not get paid.  You suck at it when you first start.  You’re aloneContinue reading “What’s the deal with sunglasses? Have you seen this?”

Everything little thing I do is magic

Magic works by manipulating the energy of the universe.  Some people call it mana, which is dumb.  Some people call it quintessence which is also dumb.  Some call it chi, which I think is dumb too but I don’t say that it’s dumb because that’s racist maybe?  There’s a bunch of other words for thisContinue reading “Everything little thing I do is magic”