This will go on your permanent record

Walrus stache broke it down.  They would politely refrain from make me disappear into the legal system and in exchange I was to rescue some kid that’s fallen in with a cult.  I suggested that they had better ways of accomplishing this than hassling me.  They disagreed.  They said that this task requires someone with my skills.  While I was trying to think of something to say the woman who wasn’t playing bad cop slid a piece of paper onto the desk.  It was a print out of an e-mail. 

The To and From were blacked out.  There was a document attached that said report # a bunch of letters and numbers.  Some of the message was blacked out too.  Here’s what I remember from what I saw –

I’ve conducted three interviews with the subject and collated what she told me into a coherent narrative.

In summary I don’t think that she’s a servant.  Sir in honesty I don’t know what she is.  I’ve discussed with <REDACTED> and she is not similar to anything encountered before.  She doesn’t match up with anything in the database.  I was not able to quantify the full range of her abilities.   

Apart from those abilities she seems to be a completely normal civilian.  I believe her goal is to hunt down and exterminate <REDACTED>.  She seems to be oblivious to the moral and legal ramifications of this goal. 

After that there was some stuff about reassigning someone else to the investigation.  I knew it was useless but I couldn’t help asking questions.  Who wrote this?  How did they get it it?  What’s a servant?  A witch?  Were they just waiting around for me to get arrested to send me on a mission?  That makes no sense.

The only thing I can figure is that the detective wrote this to the FBI magic squad.  But she knew that was a scam so why would be telling them about me?  I don’t remember her ever “interviewing” me but we did meet three times before I got her killed.  I don’t exterminate anyone, what is that part about?  

They said they weren’t there to answer any of my questions.  Just to blackmail me.  I told them I had a better plan.  I would help them if they would help me.  Blondie came at me again with her hard look and said that they didn’t need to help me, they could jam me up eight ways from Sunday if I didn’t do what they want.  She must be a big fan of detective Stabler. 

I told her to cool her tits.  I explained that I had a murderer and an accomplice murder trapped in another dimension along with a bunch of dead bodies from another murderer who was now dead.  I’d help them with their cult thing if they’d frame up those two and put them away.

That caught them more than a little off guard.

Published by sopantooth

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