The old bad cop walrus cop routine

The police station they took me too was very nice.  They left me chained to a table for longer than I think they’re supposed to.  Where’s the ACLU when you need them? 

I’m sure that I could have used my strength spell to break the shackles.  I didn’t because I figured that I couldn’t be in that much trouble.  All I did was take a cheap hunk of metal that can’t be worth more than 5 bucks.  Petty theft.     

Getting out of the building could have been hard anyway.  I wish I knew an invisibility spell.  Or a spell to turn into mist.  That would be cool.  I wonder how you see where you’re going when you’re mist.  I could  have noclipped but you never know where you’re going to come back.     

After the long table chaining not one, not two, not three, but four people in suits and lady business suits crowded in.  It was a small room.  They seemed uncomfortable having to stand should to shoulder to glare at me imperiously.  Normally I don’t mind about being around women dressed to the nines.  I often find it amusing more than anything, but something about lady business clothes makes me feel a little nervous.  Just a little.

I assumed they were police detectives because of the clothes, but they introduced themselves as the district attorney, chief prosecuting attorney, first assistant district attorney, and chief investigator.  I told them that I thought this was a lot of firepower for what amounts to stealing a pack of gum. 

A woman with a huge mass of curly blonde hair gave me a tough look and said they could charge me with trespassing, assault and battery, attempted sexual assault, resisting arrest, refusing to cooperate with police, disorderly conduct, and a dozen other things.   When she was done with her list a bald dude with a walrus mustache said they it didn’t have to go down that way. 

It’s nice to see the woman playing bad cop.  #feminism 

Published by sopantooth

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