The NOW!-NTWF-LWA-EPAP “Supertour” has been going well so far. I feel like I’m getting back into the swing.
A few years ago some wrestlers who wanted a free cruise scammed their way into doing a show at sea. I’ve heard it was a disaster. It caught out on anyway. BBQ sauce man “pulled some strings” to organize a show put together on a Lake Travis booze cruise. A wrestling ring on a boat? What could go wrong?
It was a good crowd, there were more than a hundred people there in swimsuits blasted out of their mind. I should say that it was a good sized crowd because it was a horrible crowd. Because only a few of them seemed to be aware that there was a show going on. People kept climbing in the ring because they thought it was a toy like a bounce house.
There’s a rule in wrestling, you can’t touch the fans. UNLESS they come in the ring. Then you can fucking blast them. And if there’s one thing wrestlers have in common it’s that they want to beat the shit out of obnoxious fans.
This was a grey area though because these fans didn’t understand that we were there trying to perform. People kept sitting on the edge of the ring with their solo cups and eventually one of them did get accidentally obliterated by Ultracide hitting the ropes.
After that happened we collectively all gave up on the show and joined the party. There was a fresh fruit mimosa bar and they were grilling burgers. I’ve had much worse shows. I saw the most boobs I’ve ever seen in my life that day and I’ve worked shows in strip clubs.
The booze cruise show was considered such a success for some reason. So much that we had another nautical show on the Contessa III. It’s a casino ship that sails you out to nowhere so you can gamble on the ocean. Which apparently is legal.
On the high seas a sweaty guy halfway shoved me in a hallway and then recited a poem at me –
“The figure of Palaestra, if it be compared with a boy, will be that of a girl; but if it be taken for a girl, it will seem to be a boy. For her hair is too short even to be twisted into a knot; the eye might be that of either sex; and the brow indicates disdain for both lovers and wrestlers… She cares for nothing feminine; hence she does not even wish to have white arms, and apparently even disapproves of the Dryads because they stay in the shade to keep their skin fair; nay, as one who lives in the vales of Arkadia, she begs Helios for color, and he brings it to her like a flower and reddens the girl with moderate heat.”
I don’t know if he was trying to hit on me or ask me if I’m trans (stop doing that please) or put a curse on me. I swear people get weirder every day.