I think I really screwed up. There’s something wrong with me.
I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate. Sometimes I feel like everything is moving at super speed and I can’t keep up. The next moment feel like everyone else is underwater and barely moving while I zip around like a hummingbird. I can’t drive because I’m too fucked up. It’s not safe.
The only thing that feels kind of okay is sitting in the dark. Dark, dark, with a towel over my head and my hands over my eyes even with all the lights off.
I drank half a bottle of Rittenhouse Straight Rye and I still can’t sleep. I don’t remember buying it. I can’t move around and I can’t stay still. I canceled my next show. I’m just pacing and sitting in the corner of my motel room.
I don’t feel like I’m myself. I feel like my entire body has been replaced. I don’t know. Something isn’t right.
I don’t know what to do. Even if I could afford to go to the hospital, what can I tell a doctor? I cast the wrong spell in the wrong place?