Coitus interruptus sounds like some Harry Potter bullshit

So does Ex Fiancé

I assume that the old gun is the focus for the redneck magic.  We took all the paraphernalia we could carry just in case.  We burned everything burnable and tossed the gun in the river. 

I was feeling pretty good about the night’s work until we got back to the motel and walked in on Golden Boy balls deep in Kim.  I’m no expert on sex positions but whatever they were doing looked uncomfortable to me.  She was doing a reverse back-bend. 

Seeing this made Bernal very angry.  Which is annoying.  Walking in on your sister getting railed isn’t what you want, but she’s not 16, she’s an adult woman.  Get over it.  She can root out with some washed up football narcissist if she wants.  He’s a good-looking cat.  As long as he keeps his dumb mouth shut. 

There was shoving and some punches were thrown but I stepped in before guns came into the equation.  I feel like I’ve prevented six shoot-outs in the past three days.  Maybe I should give up wrestling and pursue a career as a hostage negotiator.   

Once the murder was averted, Kim shouted at her brother in Spanish.  Not able to tolerate any more drama, I sat in my car and called Lance’s rich benefactor to let him know that I needed to talk to whoever gave him the tip-off about the ATF raid.   

Did you know that the person in charge of an ATF office is just called Special Agent in Charge?  What a dumb title.  I wish I knew the spell that makes you a convincing talker like black magic jerks because I was on the phone for six hours with various agents and special agents and even the special agent in charge and got nowhere.   

Now I get to take a 4-hour drive to their office in Houston tomorrow.  Will I be arrested on arrival?  Stayed tuned to find out! 

Published by sopantooth

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