I worry about going insane. Or that I already am insane. It’s possible that there is no such thing as magic and I’m delusional. Shows say that delusions can result from childhood trauma but the internet says that delusions are caused brain chemistry.
Once magic is happening, how can you know if you’re losing your grip on reality? The laws of physics are already wrong. So how can you know what’s real and what is your brain making you think something is real?
Part of me wants to leave. If Mr. Famous and the diversity twins want to go die in a shoot-out with some civil war assholes, let them. Why does that have to be my problem? That’s the inner voice that I have to ignore. I’m here, I’m in this, so it is my problem.
I talked to Mr. Famous about exactly what he saw and did with the redneck magic militia. I think they’re what Royale identifies as ritualists. When I started this blog, I talked about how magic people often form cults. I thought I was going to try and get a cult going myself back then. They do that because magic is hard. Everyone has a little magic in them and getting a bunch of people together and focusing that energy is a lot easier than trying to go it alone. Like moving a piano.
Ritualists, as Royale defines them, are people that on their own can’t do much magic, if any at all, but they’ve figured out how to do it cult-style with a bunch of people working together.
I can cast a spell right here right now if I want to, these people (if I’m right) can only cast a spell when they all get together and fondle their implements and do their ceremonies. Royale says ritualists are often aided by a focus object that may or may not be magic itself. If it is magic, you just need to get rid of that, and the ritualists are impotent. If it’s not magic and they just use it as a focus, then it’s not so easy to put the kibosh on them.
I told the gang to hold their murder horses for a little while so I can check into that angle. I don’t like that somehow it’s fallen to me to keep these gun brandishing maniacs in line.
But here we are.