No sell

I called Killer Kelly (not that one but the other one).  I thought she should know that I maybe knew what happened to her sister.  It was an awkward call.   I didn’t really have anything solid to tell her.  She said she was going to come to Big Thicket.  I told her that wasn’t a good idea.  She said she was coming.  Unluckily she was in Wichita Falls instead of Phoenix.  A six hour drive is nothing to wrestlers.

She was at the door of my room at The Pinebox Motel before sunup with a Rockstar energy drink in her fist like she was brandishing brass knucks.  No small talk, she told me she had a 38 in the car and I just needed to tell her who killed her sister and she’d take care of it.  Why does everyone think they’re in an action movie?  You can’t go around shooting people.  Even in Texas.  Maybe in Arizona.  But not in Texas.

With my trademark poise and sensitivity, I asked how Luciana could be her sister when she’s white.  She said that Luciana was her half-sister and also that she isn’t white, she’s half Kwaiantikowkets.  I told her I didn’t know what that was and she said it didn’t matter, just give her the name.  I told her this wasn’t as easy as walking up on someone with a 38.

I took a deep breath and I told her “Look, I just want you to understand that what’s going to happen is not a prank, okay?  We don’t really know each other but I wouldn’t do that to you and I’m not doing that to you.  So when you see this, you can’t yell or make any noise or run anywhere.  You’re going to feel that you’re being tricked or made fun of.  You’re not.  I promise you, you’re not. Okay?”

I summoned my fetch.  That’s my most “magic” spell other than levitation and that’s a real bitch to do.  It’s a bummer though because it can easily be explained as “I have a twin”.  I wish I knew a spell that was more blatantly magic that I could use in situations like this.  I thought that’s why she wasn’t reacting, but that wasn’t it. 

“You’re magic, I know that, are you telling me that magic had something to do with Luci’s death?”

Published by sopantooth

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