Chicks dig scars

The easiest way to establish that someone is a bad guy is to slap a scar on them.  I enter into evidence Scar from the Lion King.  As the dumb animals sing of Scar, “Evil as plain as the scar on his face”. 

Good guys can have scars to show how tough they are, but there are rules.  It has to be a single straight white line, flush with the skin and in one of the following hero-approved locations –

  • Straight across one cheek
  • Straight down beneath the eye (men only)
  • Straight up from the eyebrow

The only exception to the straight scar = good guy rule is when the scar is a shape, like Harry Potter’s lightning bolt or an X or some bullshit. 

Obviously I am a sociopathic murderer because I have big raised slashes.  Not only do I not just have one single line little that accentuates my cheekbones but I have a bunch of them like a real piece of shit.  Some them aren’t even on my face!

Dany has a good guy scar on her right cheek.  It’s not totally perfect because it’s still a little reddish but that will fade over time to appropriate good guy white.  

When I met her she was wearing a cashmere belly sweater, so which of us is the real monster?  I can understand wanting to be sexy and show off your ugly belly button tattoo.  And I can understand thinking “it’s chilly, I should wear a sweater”.  But you can’t have it both ways.  You want to wear a sweater?  Cover your fucking abdomen. 

She snuck up on me good because her magic lets her step lightly and blend into the shadows.  She warned me that the rest of the god squad was waiting inside the house for me with their holy shotguns and blessed 44s.  If I went down there, what they’d do to me would make the Passion of the Christ look like no big deal.  Suffer not a witch to live.

Dany took me to a Keto restaurant.  I suggested Denny’s and she turned up her nose at Denny’s.  Sweater and all.   Once at her trendy eatery she explained that she does her best to warn off magic people passing through town before the Catholics get them.  I asked her how they get away with murder.  She said that they’re thorough about leaving no body behind and it’s hard to get the police interested without a body.  Plus she said that a lot of magic people have no one to miss them.

Sad but true.

I asked her why she didn’t do something about them.  She countered with “Like what? Kill them?”  She said they’re not bad people, they’re misguided.  I say they’re fucking murdering assholes.  Wearing a crucifix while you do evil shit doesn’t make you not evil.  We agreed to disagree on that.

I asked her if she could teach me her spell for sneaking around and she said no because she doesn’t know any spells because she’s a witch.  Her magic comes from her mentor spirit, she doesn’t actually know how to do any magic. 

I asked her about this mentor spirit and she said that it’s not something you talk about.  I asked her what she could do and she said “enough to save your life”. 

Fair point there. 

Published by sopantooth

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.

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