But what did you do?!

My last post generated a lot of questions.  I forget that some people really read this.  I’m not a professional writer.  Give me a break.   

What did I do?  That’s the main question people asked.  In wrestling there’s a tradition of ribbing.  As in joking.  Traditional wrestling ribs include things like putting sugar in someone’s gas tank, posting nude pictures of them, calling their AA sponsor and saying they’re back on the sauce when they’re not, and telling their wife they died in a car wreck.  Horrible crimes and or violations of social mores.  But hilarious!   

I’ve heard women complaining about this.  I think women get it worse generally.  I haven’t had to deal with it much.  Probably because I don’t stay around the same place much.  If things had worked out with PPW or Longhorn maybe I would have been fucked with more. 

A classic among classic ribs is shitting on someone’s ring gear and/or in their wrestling boots.  I was working a show for Death Defying Wrestling in KC and when I got to my car, I saw that someone had busted out the window and smeared shit all over the seats.  With their hand.  They wanted so badly for shit to be all over my car they were willing to handle shit.   

The golden rule in wrestling is never sell a rib.  It’s bad form to get upset about someone fucking with you.  You’re supposed to rib them back.  It’s like being in school, if you cry easily when someone kicks you in the stomach you’re going to get kicked a lot.   

This happened shortly after the Christine Lane scenario so I was not in the mood to be fucked with.  What I did was cast my finding spell.  Then I laid in wait for the person who had done it.  I used my strength spell and punched him in the side of the knee.  I believe in one of the court documents, the damage was stated as “knee joint fracture with neurovascular damage”.   

Once he was down I bashed his face until it looked like a pepperoni pizza when the delivery guy drops the box.  But it was the knee that got me in trouble.  They said that I used brass knuckles because the damage was more than what someone like me should be able to do with a fist alone.  I wonder if a doctor could have determined that for sure one way or another right afterwards if they cared to investigate.   

I found out later that he did it because he’s friends with the hockey guy I stole the Subway card from.  Breaking someone’s leg because they wrecked your car – is that selling a rib or ribbing them back?  I bet if I was a man I’d have a hard time getting gigs for a while because of it.  Sometimes the double standard works in your favor.   

I do feel bad. 

I feel bad because I shouldn’t have done it at all.  I should act like an adult even if the person I’m dealing with is acting like a fucking shit-smearing baby.   

I feel bad because hockey guy is the one that should have his kneecap shattered if anyone should have, which as I say above, no one should.   

Most of all I feel bad because I used magic to do something evil.  If Royale was alive he would be very sad that I had used magic to hurt someone.  That’s not what I should be doing.  Violence is bad enough, but using magic to do it is just wrong.  If I want to be an asshole and hurt someone that’s one thing, but I shouldn’t have brought magic into it. 

I can’t think of a way to say this that doesn’t sound angsty and stupid but there’s some kind of darkness in me.  Maybe I should be in anger management.  I think if you get hit enough times you just grow to believe that it must be okay.  Maybe there’s a way to stop being like that. 

Published by sopantooth

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