Big Damn Hero for Hire

I wonder how many police reports I’m in.  Deceased last seen with unidentified person.  Caucasian female, approximately six feet in height, unflattering mannish build, short blond hair, ratty clothing, scars on face.  Probably in the margins they write “lesbian?”  And in their notepad they write “bangable, but just barely”.   

When I was driving Christie Lane’s Malibu back to the club to get my car, I thought “I’ve never driven in a dead man’s car before”.  I quickly realized that’s not true.  Most of my cars have been over a decade old.  Surely some of the former owners of those cars were dead.  It’s not a sobering thought.  But it’s something.

It’s hard to get worked up about Christie Lane dying in a toilet.  Since he was a serial waitress murderer.  I do feel a little bad.  I was talking to someone and he got up and drowned himself in a toilet to get away from me.  I can’t help but feel somewhat rejected.   

I wish I could have learned how he spotted the bug people.  It didn’t seem to be a spell.  It seemed like something he could just do.  Maybe I’ll give 42561 a call and see if she has any thoughts on that.  Maybe it’s an internalized spell like she does.   

I looked through all of Royale’s notes.  Skimmed them is more honest, there’s a ton of stuff in there.  I didn’t find anything about these insect spirits.  Does that mean these bugs are not the world ending threat they seem to be?  Or does it mean that it’s something new?  Or does it mean it’s just something that Royale never encountered?   Does it mean anything?

If you’re reading this and you don’t think I’m insane, keep an eye out for people getting buggy.  Give me a call if you see anything like that.  

And after I save your town from bug monsters, if you wanted to pay me, that would be cool.

Published by sopantooth

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