The most electrifying woman in sports today

The good news is that I know for sure there’s magic shit going on.  The bad news is everything else. 

Around 3 AM I went back and levitated up the side of the house to the bedroom window.  That’s a spell I learned from 42561. Lifting off the ground is cool.  But it’s not nearly as cool as you want it to be.  It’s VERY hard to get even 2-3 feet off the ground.  It feels like doing a pull up with a couple people hanging around your neck.  42561 told me 12 feet is about her limit.  And it’s not like you’re flying, you just hang there.  That having been said it is pretty sweet to be floating like that girl in those dumb Star Wars movies.   

When went to open the window I got a hell of a shock.  One time in a movie someone said that no one ever locks second story windows.  I’m going to find whoever wrote that movie and kick them in the dick.  It was for sure enough to knock me on my ass had I been standing.  According to the internet a “low voltage” shock can still kill you if it hits you in the chest.  Good to know.   

It was enough to burn the shit out of my fingertips and cause my arm to have muscles spasms for a while.  Not to mention it hurt like hell.  I’m sure there’s some way for crazy survivalist people to rig up an electric fence thing on a window but this wasn’t that.  It was a magic ward.  I could feel that much.  Plus there was no wire or anything, it came out of nowhere. 

While I was hanging in mid-air spasming I heard then saw her car come screeching out of her garage and tear ass down the street out of the housing complex.  I didn’t stick around to find out but I have a feeling she didn’t call the cops the second time.  I think she knows that I know.   

Published by sopantooth

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