Last night I worked a woman called Bulldozer. She had BULLDOZER tattooed on her arm from wrist to shoulder and her ring gear was cut off jean shorts and a tank top. I know I’m not really one to talk, but she looked like a man wearing a wig.
She was sloppy as hell. At first I thought she might be trying to hurt me on purpose for some reason. She wasn’t, she was just terrible at her job. Sitting backstage using my healing spell to undo all the damage she had done, I realized how good I had it in PPW. Everyone there could work and if they couldn’t, they were at least terrible in a way that only hurt themselves.
When I was sitting backstage, a woman in a schoolgirl outfit and her hair in pigtails came up to commiserate with me about Bulldozer. Everyone knows she sucks a dick and yet she still gets booked. Once she was done venting about BULLDOZER, pigtails asked me what had happened in PPW. Sitting there aching all over and thinking about being back on the road full time, I got a little depressed.
I’ve heard that some comics claim that they never want to “make it”, they just want to work the road forever. That’s how I used to feel about wrestling. I never pined to hit make it to WWE or AEW or be on TV, I just wanted to travel around and work in armories and high school gyms. Now I’m not so sure. You never know what you’re going to get out here. Sometimes you get Bulldozer. Sometimes you get someone decent. But there seem to be a lot more Bulldozers than anything else.
I started thinking maybe I should give the whole thing up. There has to be another way to make money. I just can’t conjure up what it might be. Without being a criminal I mean.