The guy that wrote Fight Club can eat it

I wasn’t sure my healing spell would work.  I’ve mostly used it on myself. Never for something as serious as a gunshot.  But it worked.  The bullet pushed out of Gary’s surprisingly well toned stomach like a little mole nosing out of the ground.  The wound mostly closed up.  Mostly.  He was still bleeding pretty good.

When the cops got there and saw all the blood, Gary said that he thought he got hit by a bullet fragment when it ricocheted or a piece of scrap metal or something.  The EMTs patched him up right there and told him to get a tetanus shot.   One moment you’re dying and the next you’re fine.  That has to mess with your head.

Our story was that we had been driving by, saw the bonfire and thought it was some college kids that we could party with.  Then the dead bodies and the shooting happened.  Gary had himself quite the time telling the cops about how he kicked both these guy’s asses while I hid in the car.  I heard him say “She don’t look like much but I got a thing for scars” and then laugh like a jackass.

Turns out Probably Not A Vampire was taking bodies from a local funeral home and burning them.  And then grinding up the bones in the slaughterhouse or whatever they do with bones.  I guess this saved the funeral guy money somehow?  I didn’t understand the scheme.  I guess you can get in a lot of trouble for improper disposal of a body.  More than killing someone sometimes.  

They found a bunch of steroids and ketamine and other shit in the slaughterhouse but I don’t know what that means since he’s a vet and is allowed to have that stuff.  Maybe there are rules for that.  I called Philip and between myself and Kandy Kane and Jenny Dreadful, we managed to browbeat him into calling the cops about his brother.  The story will be that he saw the guy in the news for the body thing and felt guilty enough to finally blab about the brother murder thing.

After we talked to the cops and all that jazz, Gary and I sat in his car for a while.  I asked him how he felt.  We helped put a criminal away.  I didn’t mention that I secretly assumed the guy wouldn’t actually do any time.  He said that he felt a little good.  He said it cautiously like he wasn’t sure he believed it.  

I told him the story of Max “Grizzly Bear” Marks.  He was a wrestler that, as many do, ate pain pills like candy.   One day he’s driving and he sees an accident – car right next to him gets crushed by a semi.  Sees a guy get killed right before his eyes.  Max declares his days of getting fucked up are over.  Says he’s going to get right with the Lord.  Says he’s going to be a father to his kids.  Ask his ex-wife to take him back.  

That lasted about a week before Max was back to getting annihilated on Percocet every day.  I told Gary that it takes more than one day to change.  You have to work at it.  He didn’t make himself into an asshole overnight, it was a long process.  Day by day doing asshole shit.  Reversing that is going to be the same.  One brick at a time. 

Published by sopantooth

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