If you can find footage of an actual armadillo eating lasagna I’d like to see it

English Stew gave me a call.  There’s a women’s tag tournament coming up and he asked if I would partner up with his aunt.  She’s not really an aunt, she’s his dad’s second ex-wife.  The one that didn’t give birth to Stew.  But it sounds like they’re close. I told him that I would loveContinue reading “If you can find footage of an actual armadillo eating lasagna I’d like to see it”

50 bucks and a black eye

I finished up teaching at the All-Star Wrestling training school and started driving to Lubbock for a show.  Stella is dead.  Life just goes on.  It doesn’t seem right.  I look around and everyone is just living like nothing happened.  It’s like it doesn’t matter that she’s dead or mattered that she was ever alive. Continue reading “50 bucks and a black eye”

Crime and punishment

I found out that dolphins can commit suicide.  I assumed only humans were smart enough to kill themselves.  When a dolphin in captivity has had enough, it swims to the bottom of the tank and drowns itself.  I wasn’t thinking about the future when I ambushed the people that killed Stella.  I just wanted themContinue reading “Crime and punishment”

People talk about love like a benign, comfortable force. It’s not that. It’s wild

The overnight manager at the Thurston Hotel is named Lisa Griffon.  I think that’s the name of the woman on Family Guy.  She doesn’t have a lot going on.  She gets off work at 4 AM, goes home, eats a frozen pizza, watches porn and masturbates, then goes to bed.  She wakes up in theContinue reading “People talk about love like a benign, comfortable force. It’s not that. It’s wild”


In the olden times, it was not uncommon for wrestlers working heel to carry guns.  Because the fans hated them so much they would legitimately try to kill them.  In those days, you weren’t over as a heel until someone pulled a knife on you.  That’s how much people bought into wrestling as recently asContinue reading “Nail”

Less than zero

Between Doug and Kim I was able to get a gig training at the school for All-Star Wrestling in Omaha.  The story was that I was rehabbing an injury and needed to be off the road for a while. Kim’s school is just his nephews and a couple other guys who are practicing between showsContinue reading “Less than zero”

Live the life you’re given

Eventually I started driving to Grand Rapids where I will pretend to lose a fight to a woman who looks like a beauty pageant contestant.  Someone died in the most horrible way possible.  And I just go on like nothing happened?  How can this be what life is?  Bad shit happens and you just goContinue reading “Live the life you’re given”

The natural next step

I’ve never hurt anyone before.  Not like that I mean.   Seems like I should feel something.  Shame.  Pride.  Anger.  Joy.  Something.  I don’t. In wrestling I hear a lot of stories about bar fights.  At least 80% of it is bullshit.  That other 20% is still a lot.  I never hear the tellers of theseContinue reading “The natural next step”

Do No Harm

Do you ever think about how strange the doctor oath is?  Do No Harm.  No one is supposed to be doing any harm to anyone.  Why do doctors need to specifically be told that?  It makes no sense. Following my spell took me across the river into Iowa I think.  Somewhere near Council Bluffs maybe. Continue reading “Do No Harm”

Be Kind Please Rewind (Out of character)

Is there anything grosser than a non-published author waxing poetic about their “process”. Yes. Assassin bugs. And house centipedes. And river dolphins. I hate those things. My loyal and stalwart and tall editor has pointed out that the run with the Thurston Hotel, while engaging and interesting and horrifying, was muddled and confusing. Looking backContinue reading “Be Kind Please Rewind (Out of character)”