The religion of sport

Two people that read this are fans of mine.  But they’re wrestling fans so they’re pretty mean to me.  A couple read this for no reason I can tell.  They aren’t into wrestling or magic.  That’s about it for regular readers.  Most other people just stop by, say something weird, and that’s it.

Because my contact info is out there for bookings, I get cranks reaching out to me from time to time.  Most of it is stuff like “I’m magic too, I can read my goldfish’s mind!”  A few people have asked me to come get a ghost out of their house.  I could give them the professor’s number but I know he’d take their money even if they don’t have a ghost.  Which they don’t. 

A man wanted me to cast a spell to protect him from the magnets the police use to make him attracted to his step-daughter.  A woman wanted me to help her because the power company was putting too much electricity in her house to try and kill her with a heart attack because she “knows too much”.  I don’t mean to make fun of these people because they have mental problems, but kind of I do. 

There’s a guy that every few days texts me “Ezekiel 23:20”.  That’s a bible verse.  And it’s a doozy –

“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”

Is that a come on?  A warning?  A prophecy?  Who knows.

Sometimes people bring me things – like the journal of Dennis the werewolf hunter.  Usually it’s junk they think is cursed.  Or “magic books” they bought at a garage sale.  I throw most of that crap away.  I did keep one thing.  It’s an autobiography of Reggie Jackson.  I keep it with me often.  I don’t know why.

Everything in the book is normal until a chapter where Reggie describes how he and several teammates and Yankees front office people ritually murdered 36 women before the ’77 playoffs.  This chapter is not in other copies of the book.  I’ve checked.  The paper and type and everything look the same.  I took it to an old bookstore once and the guy said he didn’t see any sign of it being altered. 

I guess it’s a joke but I don’t know how it got made.  If anyone is aware of Reggie Jackson or the New York Yankees being involved in blood magic, let me know.  Sport franchises are pretty awful so I guess it wouldn’t surprise me.  They’re already on board with making money off human bodies being destroyed.  It’s the logical next step.

Published by sopantooth

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.

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