Law & Order of the Phoenix

I watch a lot of cop shows.  I’m sure very little about them is anything like real life.  For example, I bet in real life lady cops don’t look like pretty actresses.  I’m sure there are some exceptions, but overall I doubt there are a lot of chesty blondes with perfect skin and juicy asses serving warrants in the real world. 

That having been said, this lady detective has a real Blake Lively vibe.  She was wearing one of those boob shirts that I don’t understand.  It’s a button up number but it’s so tight across the boobs but then it’s not loose below that.  It is shaped like a mushroom when you’re not wearing it?  I’ve never seen a shirt like that in a store.  Then again I probably don’t shop in the same places as women who buy boob shirts. 

She said she was an Atlanta detective but she had an out of place accent.  It was something like what I think is called “mid-Atlantic” which isn’t even a real way people talk.  That was made up for movies I think.   She halfway sounds like a stern governess from a musical in the 50’s but she also chain smokes and blusters like a NY teamster.   

Why was an Atlanta detective having Florida cops roust me?  That is where things get weird.   

The arrest was just a cover so she could talk to me.  What she wants is my help finding someone. When I asked why she was hassling me, she said that she needed someone who could do magic.  I appreciate that she didn’t beat around the bush about magic.  When I asked her how she knew I could do magic, she told me that she didn’t know for sure that I could.  If I could, great, then I could help her. If not, she’d take me out into the woods and shoot me in the head.  I think she was only 90% kidding about that. 

I had questions.  Many questions.  But she made it clear she wasn’t interested in answering questions.  She told me I could either spend the night in a cell or she’d let me go home.  But if I went home, she was going to be there at 6 AM sharp tomorrow.  And if I wasn’t there,  she’d hunt me down and shoot me in the head.  I don’t think she was kidding at all that time.   

Published by sopantooth

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