Even Robert Redford did it

It doesn’t happen as much these days, but once upon a time in the biz, a lot of people used the same moniker.  There were 5-10 Nature Boys at any one time.  I don’t understand that one.  What’s a Nature Boy?  Did they mean like Tarzan?  Then you had your Hacksaws, Crushers, Bruisers, King Kongs, Bam-Bams, Superstars, Playboys, Handsomes, and so on.  One that came up a lot was being billed as “the Natural”.  Also doesn’t make sense to me.  Is being good at something naturally better than working hard?

I believe in respecting those who came before.  So as an homage to those old pioneers, I said that I wanted to be introduced as “The Natural B Cup” Grace Adler last night instead of Amazing Grace.  The guy running the show, who was looking at a porno mag, wouldn’t do it.  He said it was inappropriate.  In the third match of the night, they did a spot where a guy smashed another guy’s hand with a hammer.  Go home and try that, kids!  But saying “B cup” is too much. 

Wrestling is hidebound in a very perplexing way.  I haven’t figured out why a guy can have a match with a sex doll and that’s fine, but all my ideas are rejected.

As long as I’m talking about tits, I often wonder how women who have sexy outfits keep their stuff from falling out during a match.  I haven’t had the courage to ask any of them yet.  Is there double sided tape involved?  Glue?  Spirit gum?  A wig adhesive of some fashion?  That all seems like it would be really hard on the fabric.  Not to mention your nips.  Maybe if you have fake tits, they don’t move enough to have to worry about them flopping out.

Since I can’t be the Natural B Cup, I put my name in a wrestler name generator and got Sasha “Big Guns” Jackson.  Irony?  I tried another and got Carmen “Cottonmouth” Johnson, which sounds like some vague reference to oral sex.  Other ones gave me Lola “Bootie Call” Li and Tori “The Red Queen” Perez.

That last one isn’t bad actually.

Published by sopantooth

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