The second rule of outlaw fight club is eat at Applebee’s

I got a call from Outlaw Fight Club asking me to come out west.  They’re starting a YouTube show and they’re going to film seven episodes over a long weekend.  They aren’t sure how many shows they want me on, but they offered me 400 bucks regardless if I was used or not.  Sounded like they didn’t really know what their own plan was. 

I told them I would love to work for them next time I’m in the area, but a cross country road trip would cost me close to 400 dollars.  They asked why I didn’t fly, which didn’t occur to me.  But 200 for a flight plus a couple days in a motel and I’m right back to making no money.  I really wasn’t trying to hold them up, I was just being realistic, but they called back a few hours later and said they’d cover the flight and I could stay with them in their apartment and they’d paid me $300.  I told them I didn’t want to be without my car, nor put them out by staying with them so I had to pass.  They then offered me $700.  Although half will be in Applebee’s gift cards. 

Whenever I actually try to negotiate, it’s a disaster.  Whenever I’m just being practical, that’s when it seems like I get offered more money.  I’ve got one show in the Twin Cities on the way and another in Idaho, but otherwise it’s just a straight up 3000 mile road trip. 

I’m in Lowell, MA right now because I met with the biggest and maybe only Bessie Love memorabilia collector.  You know those dudes who at a certain age start looking like someone’s aunt?  He was one of those.  He talked in a quiet moist voice that I found upsetting. 

He spent hours fawning over a bunch of old crap.  I was bored to tears until he opened an old trunk that he said was found in Bessie’s home after her death.  I don’t know how I knew, but I knew that the stuff was magic.  Royale implied that things could be imbued with magic, but I never encountered one before.

Since the stuff wasn’t Bessie’s, I asked him if I could have it.  Rude, I know.  He wasn’t going to part with the gold pocket watch, gold cufflinks, or diamond ring even if they weren’t Bessie’s, but he did give me the old men’s topcoat and an alligator wallet. 

I have no clue what they do but I know they’re magic.  Since I’m in the area, I think I’ll stop and talk to the professor about them before I head into the west.

Published by sopantooth

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