At least no one was killed

I was offered a booking in Moline.  I didn’t want to take it because of its proximity to Lyons.  But I shamed myself into saying yes.  What are you going to do?  Avoid the entire state of Illinois because of a teenager?

I should have done just that.  Maybe she would have showed up anyway.  But maybe she was only there because she knew I was going to be there.  She knows things. 

When I drove up to the venue in my shitbox, I saw a 2019 Porsche Panamera in the parking lot.  I knew she was there.  Even so, when I looked out into the crowd and saw her face it froze my blood.  I started to mentally rail at myself for being afraid of a HS girl but I need to get over that. 

It’s not logical to say to yourself that you shouldn’t be afraid of a black widow spider because it’s small.  Its size isn’t what makes it dangerous.  I absolutely should be scared of a teenager with the power she has.  She’s murdered two people.  At least.  She can control people’s minds.  She did terrible things to her own mother.  Being an 80-pound girl doesn’t change that. 

She was there with what seemed like fifty dudes.  How many of them were part of her fellowship of Christian sex murder cult athletes versus how many of them were just assholes who wanted to goof on wrestling, I don’t know.  She was like a queen holding court out there surrounded by her knights in True Religion t-shirt armor. 

I wish I was better at lying.  I tried to think of something to tell the promoter to make him cancel the show.  Even now, days later, I still can’t think of anything good.  I keep coming back to claiming that she’s the daughter of a Triad boss, which is not only stupid and maybe racist, but also not a reason to cancel the show.  I should have called in a bomb threat.  

At first, she and her douche-knights were content to just ruin the show by screaming profanities at whoever was in the ring and throwing shit at them.  There are a lot of fake tough guys in wrestling, but there are some real ones too.  I was surprised that nobody went out and grabbed one of the little fuckers by the throat.  Maybe disappointed.   

What did happen is the fans took matters into their own hands.  A lot of wrestling fans are doughy wheezing beta cucks in Hot Topic t-shirts.  But not all of them.  Several fights broke out in the crowd.  A couple guys there in EVENT windbreakers tried to get involved but things turned ugly fast.   

The promoter told the boys to get out there and “settle” things.  There was a kid there from a local wrestling school, not on the show, that looked like he belonged in a boy band.  He grabbed a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, because that sort of thing is laying around at a wrestling show, and ran out there like he was storming Normandy.   

I saw a video once of a riot at an ECW show.  Fans were fleeing from a chain-swinging Sabu like people running away from Godzilla.  This wasn’t like that.  This was more like the time Ron Artest went into the stands in Detroit.  A lot of people were taking their chance to get in cheap shots.   

My contribution was to summon a bunch of smoke and pull the fire alarm.  Which is what I should have done from the start to scuttle the whole event.  I maintain that the three people that got trampled in the fire panic is fewer injuries than there would have been if I did nothing.   

It was three in the morning by the time Moline PD had cleared out.  When I went outside, I saw that my car had been burned down to the frame.  Around sunup, she texted me a video of herself and a bunch of her jackass friends torching my car.