Hack/Slash

Sometimes I think this blog is just me venting about what I don’t like about wrestling.

I don’t mind when someone has a prop they bring to the ring.  Baseball bat.  “Singapore” cane.  Magic urn.  Branding iron.  Mjolnir.  That’s all fine.  What bugs me is when someone has a prop that can’t be used.  Triple H and the sledgehammer come to mind.  There was a dude in ROH who brought an axe to the ring.  A legit axe.  That really rips the Band-Aid off the nips.

A lot of crazy shit happens in wrestling.  But you cannot hit someone with an axe.  I think there was a Viking dude that brought a sword to the ring in the olden times too.  Same thing.  That does no good.  Give me something I can use.

On the other hand.  I started thinking that with my fetch, I could do anything.  That’s the beauty of wrestling, no matter what happens people assume it’s fine.  A guy fell to his death once and everyone just shrugged because they thought it was supposed to happen.  Maybe I could have my fetch get hacked with an axe.  Or hit with a sledgehammer. 

On that Amazing Johnathan documentary, they showed some of his old tricks.  He did stuff like sawing off his hand and stabbing through his tongue.  Blood went everywhere.  He billed himself as the Freddie Krueger of magic. 

Maybe I could do something like that.  I think I’d have to learn how to make my fetch bleed for it to work though.  In the words of the Maniac “You gotta make it gruesome, these people, they like blood you know.”

Published by sopantooth

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