Bed, Breakfast & Beyond (aka any person any study)

I never thought about what a bed and breakfast was.  Turns out it’s some people in a fancy house that rent you a room, or bed if you will, and make you breakfast.  It was easily the nicest place I’ve ever been.  It was just a big house I’m sure but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of it as a mansion.

In books and movies sometime they have the poor character feel intimidated and afraid of being in a nice place and pining to be back in their cardboard box.  I always thought that was stupid before.  Now I kind of get it.  But only a little.

Not only was it the nicest place I’ve ever stayed, the breakfast was fucking delicious.  I don’t even know what it was but it was wonderful.  I ate enough for a couple people.  I don’t care what they thought about it. 

And it was free!  The gas station lady sent me this way because the B&B lady didn’t have anyone booked that night and likes to help out “people like me”.  I guess there’s a benefit to driving a 40 year old car and wearing borrowed clothing. 

I only got to stay there one night but it was the best thing that’s happened to me maybe ever.  I asked the B&B lady about the supernatural history of the area.  She wasn’t into it like the gas station lady.  She did show me a book that a guy wrote about the disappearances gas station lady mentioned.

I thought she was kidding when she asked if I wanted to meet the author but she was totally serious.   Her husband knew the guy from some 1 percenter club.  I had to cancel another show and sleep in my car for a while but next thing I know I’m meeting with a fucking professor at fucking Cornell.  Fucking.   

I got some weird looks on my way to see the professor but that didn’t bother me.  He was a super old man with a Santa beard.  He looked like the professor character they put in every college sex movie.  He was a professor of medieval studies.  That’s good for him I guess but it’s hard for me to understand why a guy who seemingly does nothing drives a Lexus while people that work for a living get jack shit.

He talked about the book for a while and his theory that the disappearances were due to the work of a ritual killer.  We danced around it for a while like people in a drug deal who worry that the other one might be a cop but eventually we got there.  He thinks the killer was doing magic.  Because he’s magic too.

Published by sopantooth

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