Remember what the dormouse said

Last night I returned to Lights Out Xtreme Wrestling for my promised match “perfect” for my “gimmick”. The site of this long awaited showdown was the prestigious Cascade Holiday Inn in Akron.  It was quite a night. 

I don’t know how many people were there but I believe my previous record at the bullfighting ring in Mexico was beaten.  At the bullring the people were far away, so having them all crammed in around us made it seem like ten times as many.  When I worked for Lights Out before, it was a decent show but I didn’t know they could draw a crowd like this.  Before the show started there were hundreds of people there at the merch tables.  I really should get some merch.  Of course I’d need money for that to happen.

I didn’t talk to my opponent before the match, I didn’t even know who it was until I saw her come out to the ring.  We were the last match before intermission, which can go either way.  Sometimes people are already checked out.  Sometimes they treat it like a mini-main event.  This crowd was hot the whole show.

I came to the ring unannounced, which I like.  Most people hate it because it makes you look unimportant but there’s something about it I find appealing.  My opponent came out to one of those songs that they play in every movie about Vietnam.  Something by the Doors I think. 

She was dressed like a ballerina.  Not in a pink tutu, but with tights and a leotard maybe.  I don’t really know what it all was.  She did have those ballet shoes on.  She looked like she had been run over by a dirtbike and then left in a ditch for a couple weeks.  Her gear was all torn up and dirty.  And bloody. 

She didn’t shuffle to the ring like a zombie but she had a deliberate and strange way to coming down to the ring.  She was introduced as “McSweeny” and the crowd went nuts.  I get what the promoter meant now.  With her looking like that and me with my mask it’s a vibe like Su Yung and Rosemary.  The referee did a great job of selling it too.  He acted like he was scared to death of her.

When the bell rung she came at me like a wildcat.  We hadn’t discussed anything beforehand and we barely said anything to each other in the ring.  We were just reacting to each other.  From a certain POV it was the worst match I ever had.  We hardly did anything but brawl.  We were going too fast and not selling much. 

But from another POV it was my best match ever.  It was like a real fight.  Not a real real fight, but what people think is a real fight because of fights in movies.  We fought through the ropes and into the crowd in the first thirty seconds.  We were smashing into fans and tripping over ourselves and the people loved it.  At one point she kicked an obnoxious fan out of her way to get at me. 

It was wild.  Normally a street fight match is used for a feud.  They used to be feudkillers in the old days but they’re somewhat tame by today’s standards.  I had never worked a gimmick match before.  I heard they’re supposed to be easier, if more painful, because you can use props instead of doing moves but I was gassed after a couple minutes.  Wrestling is more demanding cardio than people think.  Take a cushion off your couch and punch it continuously and see how long you last. 

I was puffing like a train for a second but I got it together.  It was a nine minute match that felt like forty seconds it was so furious.  In the end she hit me with the Nutcracker Suite and pinned me.  What other finish would a battered ballerina use?  The crowd was going crazy like they had just seen the Superbowl.

The promoter paid me $220, which is more than we agreed upon.  He told me good matches get bonuses.  When I went looking for my opponent backstage to thank her I saw her in street clothes talking to the guy in the crowd she kicked.  Must be her husband or BF.  Out of her gear she looked like a kindergarten teacher.  With them was a little girl, who was wearing a pink tutu and excitedly telling her about the stray cat she saw.  It was grey.

I didn’t want to intrude then and before I could talk to her she was gone.  Some of the other people on the show told me that’s what she’s like.  She doesn’t socialize or hang around, she does he job and then gets home.  That kind of attitude rubs people the wrong way usually but everyone seemed to love her.  One guy was grinning as he told me “She’s a ghost, man.”

I kind of like that.

Published by sopantooth

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.

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