The once and future milf

I saw a tweet a while back from Mickie James saying she wanted to start calling herself the Monday Night Milf.  She would never be allowed to do that of course because it might offend someone and professional wrestling is all about being prim and proper and not pushing anyone’s buttons.  I’ll never be in the WWE but if I was I would want to work with Mickie James so I could find a way to mention in every promo how she beat Trish Stratus at WrestleMania by grabbing her pussy. 

You may dismiss that as WWE/Vince McMahon weirdness but there’s a strange undercurrent throughout wrestling about sexy women being sexy.   Basically the rule is that you should dress sexy and flop your titties around and have your ass hanging out, but you can’t act like sex exists or you know what it is.  One time Becky Lynch tweeted something about having sex with her husband and everyone’s head exploded.  And she’s not even one of the sexy ones, she’s just normal.

I suppose the idea is that when you’re the sexy lady, you want the fans to think they can bang you, so if you talk about banging someone else that makes them think they’re not going to get to bang you.  Which is bad.  The man-whore character has been part of the wrestling world forever, and is still around today, but I can’t think of any female wrestler who did anything like that.  Maybe Session Moth Martina but I’m not sure about that, it’s played for laughs so maybe that’s different.

Fans like to complain about how these days all the wrestlers are the same.  If there’s any truth to that it goes double or triple for women.  There’s just not much they’re allowed to do character wise.  I was listening to Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows on a podcast the other day and they’re just two dudes duding it up and being dudes.  Has there ever been a female duo like that?  I can’t think of one.  I’m thinking like Abbi and Ilana from Broad City only with wrestling.  The only women teams I can think of had this gimmick – Are women.  Do wrestling. 

What I wonder is if it doesn’t exist because no one wants it.  Spoiler alert, most wrestling fans are men, maybe they don’t want to see women being cool or being goofy or being funny or being horrible or being anything really.  I don’t know. 

Sometimes I think about what it would be like to do a gimmick not just where you hate on the fans, heels have been doing that since the beginning, but where you actually hate on wrestling.  The fans turned on Kevin Nash when they found out he was super lazy and just wanted money – I wonder if a gimmick like that would get over.  There are many people who are super lazy and just want money, but they keep that shit under wraps.  I wonder what would happen if you were up front about it.

I also wonder if me hating wrestling would be a gimmick.

Published by sopantooth

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