Amazon recommends Safe-T brand fake baseball bat for sports entertainment

There’s a movie called John Q and in it, Denzel Washington is going to kill himself so his son can have his heart for a transplant.  The son needs a new heart even though he’s a little kid.  Before Denzel kills himself he sits by his son’s hospital bed telling his son all the things he’s going to need to know going through life.  One thing Denzel says to him is “Make all the money you can, even if you have to sell out a little bit.  Everything is easier when you have money.”  That’s great advice, the problem is how exactly do you sell out?  Where do you sign up for that? 

At last night’s show they carried a guy backstage whose arm was all bloody and his elbow looked like ground chuck – ground chuck with a visible bone.  Before they brought him back, a guy in a karate gi stained with blood came back and gave the promoter a hard look, said “Cody’s fucked up,” and walked out of the place.  I guess he was steamed about something that he was told to do out there.  I didn’t see what happened in the ring.  Some people said they did a table spot and a piece of metal from the table went through his arm.  Some said it was a spot they did with a shovel.   

It’s funny, bad funny not haha funny, how fake people think wrestling is.  People have told me that they think the chairs guys wail on each other with are made out of rubber – where the fuck are you going to get a rubber chair?  There’s no wrestling supply store where you get fake tables and blood capsules and the other shit people seem to think we have.  If you know where I can get a fake shovel that doesn’t hurt when you hit someone with it please let me know, it would really help me out.  I could be the woman with the shovel – it would get over big.

Looking at this kid with the busted arm I wondered, not for the first time, if I could use my healing hands spell on someone else.  I don’t think it would work because what the spell is doing is accelerating your body’s own natural healing process.  Trying to manipulate the processes in someone else’s body is much harder than working with your own.  It’s like trying to think a thought for someone else, it doesn’t even really make sense.  But I bet you could come up with a spell that could help someone who was hurt.   It would just have to be a different spell.

If I could heal other people though, would I?  Right now I don’t really hide that I do magic but that’s because no one believes me anyway.  If I tell someone I can do magic they just laugh or think I’m crazy.  It’s like a hiding in plain sight thing.  But I don’t do any magic in front of people that would really make them wonder.  If I healed this guy’s elbow and all these people saw it what would happen?  Probably nothing at first, the people here would freak out, but no one else would believe them.  If I did it enough times though, eventually people would start to have questions about me.  And then what would happen?  Would I end up in a government lab somewhere like an alien autopsy?

There are people out there that can do a lot more magic than I can, but you don’t see them on Jimmy Kimmel levitating some starlet out of her chair.  You don’t see magic people in the military conjuring a shield to protect their squad from mortars.  Have they all decided independently to keep things secret?  People are terrible at keeping secrets.  Is there a council of magic people that controls all this stuff?  If so how do I contact them?  I’ve speculated before that I think the government (or some part of it) knows about magic.  Are there magic CIA assassins out there?  You’d never hear about them. 

Both the people that taught me any magic disappeared not long afterwards.  They both had enemies they were trying to protect themselves from.  Makes you think.  Who might be watching me?

Published by sopantooth

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