I’ve learned that I merely need 75,000 followers to get a FREE merchandise store. Then I can sell all the Amazing Grace t-shirts and foam hands and ice cream bars and action figures and replica championship belts and wrist-bands you’ve ever dreamed of!
Monthly Archives: September 2020
Creative has nothing for you
This is going to shock you but wrestling is a strange world. Wrestlers are not real fighters but they’re pretending to be real fighters. That gets confusing for some people. This is not helped by the fact that there are some legit bad mother fuckers in the world of wrestling. If you’re around the bizContinue reading “Creative has nothing for you”
The cornucopia was created when Hercules wrestled the river god Achelous and broke off one of his horns
I drove to Springfield for what I thought was a wrestling show I was booked on, but turned out to be a rodeo. Since I was there anyway, I told the old mumble-mouth cowboy running the thing that for the hundred bucks I was promised I’d give it a shot. Getting thrown off a bullContinue reading “The cornucopia was created when Hercules wrestled the river god Achelous and broke off one of his horns”
Not knowing what to do is starting to get old
More googling hasn’t really told me much about the diner or Raymond Pine. If anyone knows a way to find more information let me know. I’d like to go back there and snoop around but it’s been said that the wrestling business is a treadmill. That doesn’t quite make sense because you can stop aContinue reading “Not knowing what to do is starting to get old”
Death by chicken
I googled how to find out who owns a business which didn’t yield much, but googling how to find out who owns a building worked better. I’m not sure of the address of the diner, it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere. Its strange location could be part of it too – maybe thatContinue reading “Death by chicken”
Like a virgin
In my last match I fought a guy called Mandonna. He was a big ugly mug that looked like those guys you see on every police show who play the mob guy that stands in the back with the other mob guys and never says anything. His ring gear was crazy white lingerie with rocketContinue reading “Like a virgin”
Amazon recommends Safe-T brand fake baseball bat for sports entertainment
There’s a movie called John Q and in it, Denzel Washington is going to kill himself so his son can have his heart for a transplant. The son needs a new heart even though he’s a little kid. Before Denzel kills himself he sits by his son’s hospital bed telling his son all the thingsContinue reading “Amazon recommends Safe-T brand fake baseball bat for sports entertainment”
Forget the gold, how do I spin straw into spandex? Also where do I get the straw?
The guy running the show in Pine Bluff helped me get booked on a couple more shows down here so I called the guy running the Casper show to tell him I was out. Or I called the number where I talked to him before anyway. Someone who wasn’t him answered the phone and saidContinue reading “Forget the gold, how do I spin straw into spandex? Also where do I get the straw?”
When your mom told you that you could be anything, she was wrong – unless you’re a wrestler
I worked the Pine Bluff show last night. My opponent was fucking gorgeous. She couldn’t wrestle for shit but she was truly beautiful. She looked like that girl from Parks and Rec – Aubrey Plaza. Even though she was terrible we had a decent match. She had some bald dude with her, I hope itContinue reading “When your mom told you that you could be anything, she was wrong – unless you’re a wrestler”
It just feels like pain
The first time I took a bump I felt like my body was going to explode. Wrestling rings are a lot harder than people think, especially since I’ve had people tell me they thought it was a trampoline. It’s not. Why don’t they make it softer? Because you have to move around on it. YouContinue reading “It just feels like pain”
The Shine 